January 20, 2012

Bitter Betrayal

He was dressed in a well tailored formal black suit that day just as she would have wanted him to. Moreover, she always believed that there are many qualities in a man and what he wore was just one of them. He stood facing the Father, in the parish, before everyone who had come to wish him on his wedding day. All he just wanted was to make this work. Being in a long distance relationship was never easy. It was only twice that he had met her in person in the entire two years of their relation. Since, both of them worked in locations that geographically were so far-flung they had to rely on e-mails and phone calls throughout.

Unlike a regular norm, she was the one who had approached him initially and that was after noticing him in a common friend’s party. Her distinctiveness from all the other girls he had met was what he fell for time and again. Unpredictable, witty, smart, well read and intelligent were the exact persona he sought after and she possessed. After all his prior relationships, he had never thought that he would fall head over heels for anyone and here he stood now wanting to get into the next very step- WEDDING.

But then he heard whispers in the Church and it grew louder as time passed. He knew it was high time she was there and he hinted his friend to give her a call and check if everything is fine. In return, his friend replied that there was no answer. With every passing minute the brightness of certainty dimmed in his eyes instead the doubts twinkled. The minute turned into hours and the crowd who had come to wish him, left by showing their compassion towards him. His friends were infuriated and reminded him that they had warned him about her. All he felt now was a strange numbness throughout and couldn’t believe that she had actually ditched him this way. Tears rolled out of his eyes and he sat down staring at the doorway from where he thought his bride would arrive. But then out of all the chaos happening around him, he saw a slender figure standing in the doorway.

She was dressed in white just the colour his bride had to be in. His eyes now brightened with a gleam of hope. But as he approached her, the smile faded away because she wasn’t his girl. As he turned back with displeasure, he paused. Inspite of her not being his bride, he recognized that smile. He didn't knnow why but some voice ticked in his head and his heart beats raced faster. As others including him stood still she walked upto him and stood facing him. 

He couldn't believe this. This was one of the girls whose faith, innocence, dreams and self belief he had broken. The worst part was that he had left her waiting for him in the in the exact way he stood right now. Fate had played its game he thought, its just that they are on the other side today. The thought of facing her, the smile of vengeance she had on her face was leaving him frustrated. The silence was somehow deafening him.

Unable to withstand it anymore he uttered “Am so sorry for what you had to go through. I was lame then. But as for my girl there should have been a reason she did not make it.”  As he walked past her saying this she smiled, turned around and told- “I am sorry for you too darling. I so wanted you to feel the resentment I felt six years back”. More than the piercing words, it was her voice that caught his attention. He turned around with complete disbelief and she nodded as if she had answered his questions inspite of him not asking any.

Even before thinking of denials, he recollected on how he had cheated her. He remembered how it was he who spoke to her always but sent his friend to meet her every time. It was just a hobby for him. He remembered how he had fooled her entire family and left them to be a laughing stock before everybody. Immediately, he frowned realizing it was her playing games with him this time. Whom he met was a friend of hers but whom he spoke to was her indeed. Call it a irony or a tragedy but he had fallen in love with someone whose trust he had himself devastated once.There was a look of triumph of settling of scores in her face. Strangely, she had lost all her charm and innocence she had then and he was the cause for it.

Finally she spoke- “This is it! This was the moment I have waited for throughout. I wanted you to feel the bitterness I did. I wanted you to love me and get nothing than resentment in return. Just like mine, your first love too would always remind you of pain, deception and trickery. You too have to leave with it that your love was nothing but a sham!!!". 

As he looked at her insulted, depressed and completely bewildered she walked away. Pausing for a minute near the door she wiped away the tear trickling down and thought to herself- "But I somewhere underestimated you. In this process of payback, you yet again succeeded to steal my heart. It’s true you made me realize somewhere I guess I still like you, but the major insight was that the hatred and disgust I have for you in my heart is far more than love.”  


January 18, 2012

Intricate Thoughts # 3

Reality yet Chimerical,
Genuine yet Deceptive,
Evident yet Intangible,
Such is the world of dreams.

Isn't it? Probably I always knew how wonderful dreams can be, but I never gave it a clear thought. Amazing it is to know how consistent can it be at times. How even after waking up in between, the dream continues from the exact spot where it had stopped. It’s like watching a movie with you being a central character. Yeah! It certainly can at times be creepy, disappointing and disgusting too.

Ever thought? This could be one of the best gifts we have been offered where you can change the already occurred or imagine the future just the way you want it to be. You can imagine yourself to be exactly as that person you desire to be. You can feel what you felt the last time you were in that favorite place of yours. You also may get a chance to talk to the loved one innumerable times inspite of having lost them in reality.  

It’s awesome to be able to get back in time which in actuality will never repeat or reach a place which may or may not in your future.


January 14, 2012

Am no Jughead!

Well!! Uh.. Actually nothing’s well. No jing-bang start for the blog this time around. Getting directly into something that is just so utterly disgusting! How irritating is it to be around someone who just can't voice out their opinion on anything or rather who probably never has one of his own. Seriously Duh! :( And the worst is to know how easy are they to convince. Never do any thinking but yeah are very well carried away just like that leaf which goes along with the wind that blows in any random direction. 

I don't really belong to a category where I shout out from roof tops to express my views. I believe in talking at the right time to the right person to whom this stuff would actually matter and not any random person. The least thing one would expect is that the who came running for the suggestions is sane. All said and done this will sound gross and one will look like a fool when you realize thatyou’re your efforts go waste every single time with this one person only. They, to whom it should matter the most, to whom one does all the talking because infact they were the one who came running for suggestion like you were the last person alive who can drag them out of all the shit they had got themselves into is actually someone who gets carried away with everyone's words. I mean Come-on man! I know common sense isn't that common.. but I don't think anybody would love to be a legend in this category breaking all the records.

Absurd! One thing I always find crazy is someone whose opinions/decisions change around faster than the ticking sound of the clock just because another person told them so. This doesn’t end with one another person but changes when any random come and give their input. Doesn't one atleast feel like giving their brains some work! Its a fact that human mind is never ideal. One common thing that happens when you cook, you drive, you read, you listen to music or you download all that you have eaten the last night is that your mind works dude! And then you meet a person who proves all this wrong, for whom you did all the thinking, with no personal gain in anyway just for their betterment and they themselves found the ultimate decision excellent, possible, plausible and feasible. The feeling isn't exactly annoyed but is something like "Is he/she a jughead or am I for doing all the thinking?" 

Am done this time though! Every time I promise myself that inspite of knowing that they will get themselves into same misery again, repeating the same actions you had warned them from and hell of a thing is they come back to you every time with a regret that they should have listened to you the last time. The tragedy here is, I somehow lose all my sanity and end up doing all the thinking for them knowing what’s it going to be at the fag end. Currently, this sounds like I rent my brains for them every time they need it. Where were they when God was distributing brains to everybody?

Phew!!! I fail to understand how can it be so easy to be fooled by the same person again and again and again? Judging another person is never an easy task, but not being carried over certainly is. Out of all this drama, one thing I have realized is they may never learn a lesson inspite of reading the same chapter a zillion times but I have learnt mine that I will have to read only those that are actually meant for me!!!