November 25, 2010

Turmoil Within!!

Love, for me was pure,
Love, for me was divine!
I was of that so sure,
Until my love she did decline!!

I know not what she meant,
I know not should she repent!
I know not why is she hell-bent,
I know not what to comment!!

I know not why things are messed,
I know not why is she depressed!
I know not what to confess,
I know not why I failed to impress!!

I know not what brought about the change,
I know not how to deal with the pain!
I know not if I will ever pass her lane,
I know not how to refrain!!

I know not why she thinks of me lame,
I know not whom to blame!
I know not if she is thinking the same,
I know not if she has already forgotten my name!!

I know I have tried always to be correct,
I know I always for her had respect!
I know I am not so perfect,
But is that a reason for her to neglect!!

Who says love is immortal?
Who dare say it doesn't fade away!
I now believe nothing lasts forever,
Everything ends one final day!!

 P.S: This is just a poem... has nothing to do with my current state!!! ;)

November 23, 2010

By the river side!!!

When the noise out is so loud,
that her voice you do not hear.
When the street has so much crowd,
that you simply do not see her.
Do remember that out in the night, In the pale moonlight
She still awaits you,
By the river-side.

When in your work you are so engrossed,
that you don't even have slightest of her thought
When all you want in life is success,
that not even a hurdle can make you stop.
Do remember that out in the night, in the pale moonlight
She still awaits you,
By the river-side.

When all you want is to win,
that you do not even bother about any sin.
When you find happiness in worldly pleasures,
that your friends and enemies you fail to measure.
Do remember that out in the night, in the pale moonlight
She still awaits you,
By the river-side.

When you finally achieve your goal,
that now you want a new dream to behold.
But then realize that you did not win but loose,
that wrong people you have always chose.
If you feel completely left alone,
so much that in pain you moan.
When the pain is from the inside
that you do not how will it subside.
Do remember that out in the night, in the pale moonlight
She still awaits you,
By the river-side.


November 18, 2010


The smell so fresh,
The taste so pure,
The sound so soothing,
I love when it downpours.

Earth begins cleansing itself with a greenish tinge everywhere we see, the trees merrily dancing and moving to the direction of the breeze, the lakes and ponds unite with the sea as if they always belonged together, the paper boats made by kids cruise through the small gutters as if they are all set free, then there is a lightning followed by the thunder flaunting their loyalty, the smell of the mud helps us relax and reminds us that its where we will all eventually go. Once it stops pouring, a rainbow flashes up in the sky as if to pass on a sign that all the impurities in the world is washed away. If the peacock's dance just before the rain, the chirping birds all return to their nests, the fishes are all happily swirling in the water while the dogs runs to a shade with the fear of getting wet.

The Rain has been magical and always been an inspiration to people irrespective of their interests, a writer, an artist, a photographer or a mere enthusiast. There are immense amount of articles describing rain, the poems praising it, the pictures capturing its beauty. Rain always brings happiness and smiles and makes everything so much more livelier.

Simple reasons where enough to make us happy in our childhood. As a child, a permission to get drenched in the rain gave me pleasure which the most expensive toy failed to do. Purposely jumping on the puddle of muddy water made me cheer. The joy doubled when I knew that this act has resulted with a splash on a friend and that he would soon return the favor. Dancing in the rain was one of the beautiful experiences. The colorful umbrellas we then loved, gave complex even to the mighty rainbow. Most excitement the rain brought along with it was that I would get a new shoe, a new umbrella, and a new bag. Small things then would make me happy like a hot plate of bajji and glass of milk when its pouring heavily. The joy of cuddling inside a woolen blanket made me feel so secure from the deadly cold outside.

As a teenager, a ride on the two wheeler when its still drizzling, the feeling of the cold breeze brushing through my hair, the droplets of rain falling on my face very gently taking care that am not hurt brought immense joy. A ride on the vehicle immediately after the rain, made me feel completely rejuvenated. A gang of friends fought for one umbrella and all ended up being wet, the scoldings I got for the dirtied clothes and the caressing hand of the parent that wiped the wet hair in fear of me catching cold is some of the most cherished pleasures of life. The look in the Mom's eyes when we sneezed after getting wet which said- “I told you!!!” and a smile that we return which says “Sorry” are all such precious moments.

But why today, it fails to bring the same joy?
Why does it not make me happy anymore?
Why do I only complain when it rains?
Why do I find the same muddy puddle of water which made me happy very dirty?
Why do I think a hundred times to wear white worrying if it would rain?
Why do I check and re-check my bag for the umbrella?
Why only the thought of getting wet freaks me out?
Why do I not notice the same rainbow which is as colorful as ever?
Why do I not feel guilty when I do not overturn the tilted paper boat made by some kid and see it getting washed away?

Is it not the same rain?
Is it not the same trees still swaying as per the wind's wish without questioning?
Is it not the same fishes swirling in the water merrily?
Is it not the same water trying to unite with the vast sea?
Is it not the same earth that’s still cleansing itself?

Or, Is it not the same me?

I fail to understand what has caused this sudden change and disconnect with me and the nature. I cannot follow why do I not enjoy the smell of the earth, the cold breeze, or the splash of water anymore. Nothing else has changed over time, Has it? Everything seems to be the same for eternity and seems so divine except for me. Is it that I have forgotten to enjoy little pleasures that life offers without seeking anything in return? Is it that I am so engulfed with the materialistic world that I do not even find time to sit by the window and see the beautiful pearl like droplets falling from the sky and seek pleasure!!! How strange is it? We still wish to be a child and think of reliving our childhood, when there are so many things that are constant and can gives us the same nostalgic feeling. Its just we who do not value it anymore in our quest to achieve things of least importance.

Just try dancing in the rain again, just the way you did as a child and see how exhilarating that experience will be!!


November 17, 2010

Why at times???

Why at times am I so annoyed ?
When I know, no one but myself is the reason.
Why at times at times do I frown ?
When I know it hurts my own loved one.

Why at times do I not blurt out my thoughts?
When I know there are people to listen.
What am I worried of ?
When I know once told its all gonna be fun.

Why at times do I worry about hurting people ?
When I know that I am bleeding within.
Why at times do not I think of myself ?
When I know thats something I always needed to learn.

Why at times do I feel lost?
When I know its just a new path.
Why at times do I feel I walk alone?
When I know thats the same with every person.


Why at times do I feel like flying?
When I know the fall can be fatal.
Why at times do I not stop fighting?
When I know there is no actual battle.

Why at times do I feel my world is getting smaller?
When I know I just have to lend out my hand.
Why at times do I feel there is no one?
When I know there are people who wont let me strand.

Why at times do I feel detached ?
When I know am one among the crowd.
Why at times do I feel skeptical?
When I know life is a beautiful debacle.

Why at times do I feel am of no good?
When I know I too brought about smiles.
Why at times I cannot be simply happy?
When I know life is all worthwhile.


November 16, 2010

Soul Trapped in the Wrong Body!!!

Ever wondered how would it feel to be neglected, constantly mocked for being the way you are? What would one go through when one knows that being themselves is causing uneasiness, humiliation and embarrassment for their own loved ones? How difficult would it be to accept the reason for their parents disowning them is just because they are a little different from the rest of the society?

I am referring to the Hijra community (referred so in India for eunuchs) which is on the rise and need our attention or may be help. I do sympathize with them and feel that we from the normal society are the sole reason for all this mess. Why do not we understand when they say they are a soul entrapped in a wrong body. I wonder who told us that there are mere two genders in this world. How are we dam sure of it? Is it because we took story of Adam and Eve so seriously that we choose not to believe the fact before our eyes??

If you are aware, there are animals mainly Fishes which possess characteristics of both male and female species. They have chromosomes of both the genders. What I do not follow is that when we look at such facts in a positive way and conduct hundreds of studies spending Crores of rupees just to know what causes it or how is it helpful, why do not we even treat our fellow humans with such characteristics normally? Who has given us the right to proclaim and preach that there are only two genders in this world? What if there surely needs to be a category for people who are a little different than us or is it that they are far more superior as compared to us by possessing traits of both the gender?

We as a society have to be blamed for creating such a wide gap between us and them. The Gap which is so huge that cannot be easily filled. Children mock at them, people on the roads stare at them passing comments, friends deceive them and sadly their parents too disown them once they know the fact and all this for no mistake of theirs. I do not think they are cowards because they stay away from our so called society, instead we are Cowards and stereotyped fools. For some reason, we shy away from them, only to feel belonged to the society? It is obvious that they will have hatred and anguish in their hearts and will surely pass it onto their community. Their indulging in obscene acts on roads causing embarrassment is all a result of our own non-acceptance. We are paying the price for our own deeds.

Having said all this, I would like to believe that mistakes are committed from both the ends, us and them. Its now time for them to understand us too. They cannot deny the signs of acceptance the society is showing. Huge example would be declaring homosexual weddings legal. Time probably will heal these issues. However hard they defend themselves I fail to understand their reason to beg and demand our hard earned money. Why should we pay them who are themselves capable of earning? This act of begging is also claimed to be a huge racket because if one refuses to abide by their demands then a gang of theirs would arrive only to indulge in actions to publicly embarrass us. This behavior of theirs can be considered anti-social and cannot be justified at all. I rather pay money to an old person or a handicapped fellow human being or even a hungry child. But why them?? Just because they belong to the category of third sex and can conveniently blame us for not giving them their due recognition or fair chance? They will talk of ill of society for having sidelined them at every step? Who will help them realize that their involving in such obnoxious and filthy acts is not working in their favor instead is going to take them further away from the society.

Our society, for sure has to go out of its way probably to remove the scars left not only in all their hearts but even deep in their souls for centuries now for the neglect caused. When we take a step for their progress they too will have to walk towards us rather than move a step behind. However, this issue has been prolonging from too long for one party or one decision to be able to resolve it overnight. A solution can be brought about successfully only when both of us co-operate and work on uplifting them so that they too can contribute to our society and be one among us. I do not see a point in creating two different worlds amidst us when we all live on the same planet, with similar needs, have similar habits, similar liberties, emotions, strengths and weaknesses. Respect for each other probably can make wonders happen.

But the question still lingers. How is it possible? Who will take the initiative to make it happen and free all of us from the sins we have indulged in by merely neglecting and ill treating a part of our own society?

Signing off on that note,

November 4, 2010

Happy Diwali!

Diwali is said to be the festival of lights, light which ends darkness, with which comes a new hope, a new day, a new happiness and a new life! Light ends all the evil and makes path only for the good to come. Likewise, with this Diwali hope all the negativity comes to an end in the world, but most importantly within o...urselves!
May only morality, good and truth Triumph!!
Happy Diwali all! :)

Luv 2 all,

November 3, 2010

Out Of My Window!!!

There would be lots of people who are fond of window seat while traveling, isn’t it?. Well, I too fall into the same category but I never wished to blessed with a window seat in office. If it is a lazy day at work (tell me which day isn't?) I always find myself gaping outside the window. There are lots of things you can get engrossed in- the traffic, roadside vendors, a school, and a little ahead is the huge UB city building reminding me of Mallya Maamu which again gets me thinking as to yet another famous Mangalorean and a sense of pride emerges, with a certainty that am not gonna be that lucky! ;)

It was not long after I began my work, that all of us at office where disturbed with noises. Initially, I did not pay much attention but the sound just got louder, there was music, lots of voices, there were drums and cheers. Immediately, realizing it is from the school I turned towards the window to find all the students standing in one straight line for their sports day. From the fifth floor, these students looked like ants following each other in uniformity. Recollecting my days at school during sports day and as to how much we baked ourselves in sun immense amount of sympathy poured out for these students.

After all the torturous moments I saw the kids be their usual self and run helter skelter only to come back again with lots of balloons tied together. There were only two colours Yellow and Green (Ah! Love the combi) The bundles were many but each bundle comprised of same color either yellow or green. Then we all heard something like a gunshot and soon the balloons were released, thousands of them each with some messages on it followed by claps and cheers. All of us felt like we are viewing some historic moment and indeed the sky looked beautiful filled with yellow and green spots. My thoughts immediately ran into a story I had heard as a child.

My Mom was a voracious reader and had read out a true story to me from Reader's digest. It was of a little girl, Isabella from Canada or so. If I recall correctly, Isabella lived in the country side along with her Mom and Grand Parents. Her father had passed away when she was small and she always pestered her mom with too many questions regarding him. In an attempt to make her daughter feel secured and cared for, her Mom had given all possible explanations. Finally, it was on the occasion of his Birthday, that Isabella began her tantrums telling she wanted to talk to her dad. Mom again told her daughter that her Dad is in heaven helping God in his work. Isabella now wanted send her message to the sky. Confused and helpless, Her Mom came up with an idea of blowing a balloon and writing a message on it and then releasing it away so that it reached her Dad. Isabella all excited followed exactly what her Mom said. The messeage read-

“Hi Daddy,

Happy Birthday!I Love you,
Mom says you are in heaven helping God but I want you to come back to us now!
Please tell God Daddy.

Miss you, Bella"

She had then added their house address too.

Isabella was happy and awaited her Dad's response patiently as days passed by. Days became weeks, weeks turned into more than a month. Soon she ran out of patience and her Mom with all the possible justifications. It was one afternoon, that Isabella's Grand mom received a letter which was for her grand daughter. She was amazed and on opening it was in a state of shock. The letter read-

“Hi Bella,

Daddy misses you too. I do not think I would be able to come soon.
But I promise to try.

Love Daddy."

As the letter passed through each member in the house it was the grandfather who saw an address mentioned below with a contact number . Giving up to Bella's tantrums again they dialed the number so that she could speak to the person she thought was her dad and all wondered who.

Soon the story revealed. The response had come from a childless couple from some other part of the country who had found this balloon stuck up in one of their fields. In an attempt to make the child happy they had responded with the sweet letter. Soon, began the continuous exchange of messages. As Bella grew up she realized the truth but the two families had already bonded together very well. It was followed with the first visits they made to see Bella, following with she spending her vacations there. It had been years since the incident had happened and they were all still in touch according to the book.

A mere message on a balloon gave two families all happiness they craved for. If it gave Bella her Father, the childless couple were blessed too. One Balloon, One mere lie to keep her daughter happy brought destinies of two different families from different parts of the country who would otherwise never know each other together for eternity.

Soon, the loud drums and honking from vehicles outside brought me back to my senses. By then, the balloons had all traveled too far away and the sky was all clear. I again realized how bad is it to have a seat next to window!! I had lost close to half an hour already and my work is still pending!