September 15, 2010

Appealing the Almighty!!!

It was just the last weekend that I visited my hometown, Mangalore. It was a very unplanned visit and since it was a long weekend reaching the bus stand in Bangalore (Majestic) was a challenge in itself. I had to leave my place one hour prior just to ensure I do not miss the bus. It was an utter confusion since, I initially thought of travelling via a city bus but eventually had to drop the plan and take an auto mainly due to the lack of time. Once in Auto, it was the bargain I had to focus on and after I assured myself that it was not atleast a lose lose situation (because win win situation with the drivers here is next to impossible) I got into it.

Next hassle to follow was the traffic. It felt as if all the people in Bangalore are travelling to the same place as I was. Just to convince myself that I have put in all the efforts to reach on time, I began pleading to the driver and make it fast. It was all so messy, so noisy, so annoying and disturbing that I did not even bother to listen to what was the driver was trying to say. After a while, I finally got exhausted listening to my own voice and chose to keep quiet. It did not take long time for me to relax because I could see many in the traffic who had lots of luggage and I was assured that am not the only one.

Next to me in a motorcycle were two people who shared the same fate as mine. The pillion rider was a girl who was continuously murmuring something to herself. I suddenly realized how foolish I would have looked all these while and blushed. Its only when we neared a temple I learnt that she was actually praying. I found it funny and thought of a prayer I could chant, but as usual I was blank because I hardly know any.

Exhausted and panting I reached my bus. To my surprise , I noticed that the girl on the motorcycle was seated adjacent to me. Stragely enough, a smile lit up on my face looking at her and a question lurked in my head if she did remember to thank God as her prayers were answered. Once the journey began, I put on my I-pod preferring to listen to music rather than hear the noise of the traffic. The sonorous drone of the rain outside as well helped me relax. I again looked at the girl praying (the act of touching her forehead and chin, practiced this thrice) and wondered what is actually bothering her that she is disturbing God the Almighty so many times. Then I noticed that she did so because she saw a small temple outside the window. Thinking lots of stuffs wanted and unwanted and cursing everyone I could for making it impossible for me to have dinner I fell asleep with the soothing music still playing in my ears.

It was when I began feeling the temperature increase that I woke up to check what went wrong. Realizing that the bus had come to a halt, I adjusted myself in the seat and put off the music. I was far too hungry to go find a reason now and exclaimed “ Oh! God, not again”. It was with a lightning speed that the image of that girl came into my mind when I said God and I turned back to check and again strangely felt good to see her safe in her seat. Yet again, the bus moved, journey continued and so did her chanting. Her prayers seemed endless throughout the journey whether it was that the bus stops for some time or we passing through another temple.

I wondered throughout the journey what was it that forced her to remember God every moment simply because I could not relate to it. Immediately, there were images of  lots of people I knew that began flashing, who followed this habit of praying every time they saw a God's image. I am not very pious,In fact not even close to claiming am regular in prayers. I never questioned the existence of God, but somehow never managed to make praying a habit. Praying for me till date is a conversation between me and God. Strangely, I realized that I talk to him in English off late. Its a normal conversation I have with him as with any of my friends. I remember one of my friend looking at me as if I do not belong to the human clan when I told her one day “Chill man! God will understand. Do not worry”

My Dad has turned religious very late in his life which he himself accepts and has the opinion that I will learn the reason myself over the period. As for my Mom, I recollect she always told me that God is more of a positive force. He is someone we rely on when we feel things are all out for our control. She always believed that we humans always were programmed in a way that depending on an external force which felt is superior to us is a must. God, she believed is a guiding light, something that made us believe in ourselves, something which according to her helped us focus on our work than bother about the results and during times of agony or loss is a source on which we could blame things on. I must say, I did try this blaming thing in lots of instances and strangely enough it did help me relax.

Like every one else my opinions are based on my experiences. I do not know if I am right or wrong but to confess, I have mostly questioned him than accept things the way they are. God would agree that I am quiet a rebellious child of his.

We all who believe in his existence or something that we feel he is just a force binding everything together or someone who thinks they have to pray purely because they do not want to go to hell once dead ;) I believe should question ourselves.

Spending thousands on a pooja or helping a needy would make him happy?
Does killing people and fellow humans in his name ensure that we are getting a ticket to heaven?
Will deserting our parents when they are old help us justify our action if we ever are to meet him?
Does recalling him only to ask him for blessings every time satisfy him?
Is there any explanation for quotas in college or work based on ones religion and caste where innocent suffer?
Did God really create all these religion for us to fight amongst ourselves and prove our bravery?
Will forcing another to convert or to pray regularly avoid all the troubles in his or her life?
Whom are the believers of honour killing where the victim's family doesn't even shed a tear really honour?

We would all get many more points if we think. All these complications are created by us alone. Solution lies within us for all the problem that persists but we still choose to blame him for silliest of the silly things. I do not really know if the girl in the bus had any serious problem but she was an indirect reason for me to think of him and our foolishness for so long at that point of time when most of the people in the world were sleeping. I chose to thank her for making me think of him and prayed to him to take care of her issue, if any.... Again, I put on the music and began listening to one of my favourite tracks and in no time lost myself in the world of music... :)

September 8, 2010

The Confused us!!!

There is so much varied problems in the world we all are victims of. We often hear slogans on Global Warming, Poverty, Destruction caused by Wars or nuclear weapons, deforestation, Pollution.... The list seems eternal. These are all the problems caused due to external factors on which we do not have any control on but there are some silly problems caused which affects only us and only we can change it.Certain traits of ours if changed would be beneficial to us and only us but we do not even bother to focus on it it all. Do we???

We await holidays badly, but when it does arrive we feel that we could have waited for some more time and it could have come a little later so that it would last for a longer time...

During vacations it is looking forward for school to begin, but when it does we feel otherwise..

Once the exam timetable is on notice board, somehow we want to get over with it, but when it approaches , we require all the time in the world...

Birthday always being special, is something that we all look forward to, but speaking personally its the evening of my Birthday that there is a thought that lingers in my head which says, “1 more year to go again for the next... oh!. that's 365 days..!!”...

Whenever there is any occasion of visiting any place, all the excitement ruins as the day comes close and once in that place the thought of returning back to the routine life dampens all our spirits.

But as we grow up priorities change.. but this feeling of unnecessary remorse over things still finds its place in our life...

Today, it may be a change of job that we were awaiting for desperately, but once we bag a new job then we sense the agony within to leave our previous firm and colleagues. The same thought of some more time would have been great endures...

The thought of taking a vacation and going home lights up a smile on every one's face but why is it that when it nears that we begin feeling that the excitement will be short lived.

Birthdays now more than excitement brings heartache as we see all our money being shelled out for treats.. And if the Birthdays fall on month ends like mine.. I cant even explain the feeling... ;)

The salary date is what all of us look forward to.. but within two days after receiving it, I find myself calculating the days left for the next salary to be credited...

The weekend has its own importance and all of us keep wondering on a Monday as to we did nothing this weekend and all the chores we planned for is still pending.. We again await for the next weekend anxiously..

We find ourselves stuck like a barnacle to the television late nights thinking of finishing all the pending work in the morning and when it is morning and .. we often ask... “Holy Shit!! is it morning already???”

Am just wondering why does this happen that initially we ourselves wholeheartedly work and make things happen and then this dark cloud of penitence takes over devouring it all. Why are we all so confused about what we want? Even though its preached that “Change is only thing that is constant”, we still find it difficult to cope up with it. We could never accept that time does not ever wait and that is the sole reason we always expect wishing we had more than 24 hours in a day.

This basic feeling of greed or acquisitiveness is imbibed in each of us individuals to such an extent that I think it is practically difficult for any of us to overcome it. All the instances stated above may seem silly and unimportant but the truth is its just our craving for more or wanting to have the best of everything which could one day land us all in a very frustrated situation which is created by none other than us. Why is it not possible for us to accept that certain things are supposed to be the way it is meant to be and cannot be ever altered? Why do we shy away from accepting the truth? Why is it difficult to accept that we do not have control and influence on certain things irrespective of our fame or popularity? When will we learn to live life to the fullest and without regret and change our priorities form wanting materialistic possessions to living a contented and a happy life?? Now, the question is will we ever learn??